Born in 1956, I have racked up numerous jobs over the last 68 years. Not all were memorable, but some were dreadful, some cool, others temporary, some permanent, and some sucked. One came with a bed (more about that later). They included accessing blood vaults, babysitting, loading dry cleaning machines, cleaning mimeograph machines, counterboy, three-wheel bicycle deliveries, compliance auditing, operations manager, busboy, mailroom boy, laundry delivery driver, cotton cubicle folding assistant, and retirement strategist/wealth manager.
Stranger than the foregoing list is the number of titles I have actually held—internal auditor, staff auditor, assistant vice president, vice-president, first vice-president, second vice-president, senior vice president, senior investment management consultant, managing director, and yeah, delivery boy.
Having a job that actually comes with a bed might sound like a perk, but working fifteen-hour shifts at a big city blood bank with urgent calls for blood coming in at midnight, 3:00 a.m., or 5:00 a.m. doesn’t allow for a good night’s sleep, no matter how soft the mattress.
But that job wasn’t as bad as being a busboy in a college town diner with all my friends deliberately making messes, knowing I had to clean it up while they paid their bills and shuffled out the door. It wasn’t good for the ego, yet I was grateful it only lasted long enough to pay rent and the phone bill.
The lowest salary by far was babysitting for Dr. Buxbaum across the hall from our lower eastside apartment in Manhattan. She paid me 50 cents an hour. I’d walk away with a $1.50 spending money, feeling on top of the world until I understood how little $1.50 actually bought.
If you ever worked for your parents, you know it comes with “special issues.” I can’t remember the number of times I wished I could trade places with my dad and let him fold 265 draperies while I sat in his air conditioned office yakking on the phone. Worse was how he made me feel when I screwed something up (hey, I was 13 years old, give me a break), which was often. He would explain something, I would dutifully nod, and then totally forget what he said and proceed to screw up the chore. Couldn’t help feeling like a butthead, like I couldn’t do anything right.
Not good for my self-esteem.
My time as an internal auditor for the New York based E.F. Hutton lasted about two and half years before I took a promotion and became operations manager in their sprawling Washington, DC, office. I started with Hutton in 1980, and my job was to interview stockbrokers at their offices all across the country. As a compliance auditor, my function was to make sure stockbrokers abided by the rules and regulations of the New York Stock Exchange, the Commodity Futures Trading Commission, and the SEC. Yes, it proved mind-numbingly boring, despite the travel to such magical destinations as Rock Island, Illinois; Carmel, Indiana; Tonawanda, New York; and Parsippany, New Jersey.
I now look forward to turning the page and not working for a living. I have put in enough years to enjoy the autonomy I have earned. The struggle will be to keep myself intellectually occupied. A dear friend wrote a series of books on Sudoku. Perhaps I will need to read them so my brain doesn’t turn to goo.
Geopolitical Intrigue and Mind-Numbing Idiocy
It seems that President Biden saw fit to pardon a Chinese spy who was caught with massive amounts of child pornography. It further seems the fellow was related to a high-ranking member of the Communist Party. YES, I feel Biden is the most unfit President in the last 200 years, and this is mind-numbing idiocy.
The Final Word (to borrow a phrase from my friend Vance)
Surely a sign of American imperialism—a law in place since the 1990s PROHIBITS the wearing of jeans in North Korea. You will find NO denim in the country since possession will land you in jail. Just in case you were wondering, North Korea also prohibits TikTok and birth control devices of any kind, including condoms.
I’m told that hundreds of Starbucks employees are on strike. It seems the baristas have much to gripe about, but what interests me most is one barista wanting “work from home flexibility.” Perhaps this person keeps creamer and vanilla in their home fridge? Perhaps what’s lost on these folks is that Starbucks, like McDonald’s, is a career steppingstone and not meant to be permanent employment. It reminds me of my busboy and delivery days.
The antics of the Biden Administration never seem to stop, and yes, they continue to piss me off. Recent articles detail how that Administration has spent millions of dollars of taxpayer money creating transgender animals and then performing experiments on them. See the Washington Examiner story dated December 21, 2024, by Robert Schmad for the gruesome details.
I have no interest in reading an article that begins with the words P. Diddy, Taylor Swift, or Whoopi Goldberg.
Fair warning: If you happen to run across an article describing how late night TV hosts failed to stop the Trump presidential win, don’t read it. You have much better things to do, like cleaning your gutters or oven.
Have you heard of Woke Cinema? Evidently, there is a class of cinematic productions that focus on the woke life and the progressive liberal political climate. I’m sure Hollywood insider Rob Reiner is all over this. You can probably expect new versions of Marvel and DC superhero movies featuring a bisexual Super Boy, a lesbian Wonder Woman, and a transexual Martian Manhunter.
I would not be surprised to see a new and improved version of Friends where they all identify as whatever they want, complain that everything is lame, work from home, still qualify for state SNAP programs (food stamps), and argue amongst themselves about student loan cancellations because owing all that debt creates anxiety. And because Hollywood is known to be racist, all new Disney films will feature Latino and African American leading ladies as well as a new and improved American history featuring trans Founding Fathers.
Take note:
- It is illegal to drive blindfolded in Alabama—just sayin’.
- In Arizona, it’s illegal for a donkey to sleep in a bathtub—you have been
- In Kentucky, a woman cannot marry the same man four
- In Massachusetts, it’s illegal to tell fortunes without
- In New Jersey, bullet-proof vests are banned while committing a
Turnabout Is Fair Play
Equal Opportunity Times subscribers might recall that about a year ago, I penned a quiz called “How to shut down your crazed liberal relatives at holiday dinners.” The quiz received more- than-expected comments, both positive and, well, not so positive. I was blunt and pulled no punches. For those who know me, that’s par for the course. For the crazed liberal relatives who are clueless that socialism is the path to communism, I hold no mercy. By the way, that’s not my line. It was first uttered by Vladimir Lenin. If he happens to be your role model, not only will I not invite you to holiday dinner but I won’t let you step foot in my home.
I spied a recent media article that discussed how liberal leftists should not allow Trump-voting relatives into their homes for holiday dinners. It seems that turnabout is fair play. The article went on to explain how righteous Democrats should not share bread or make toasts with those who are against reproductive healthcare (read abortion and genital mutilation surgery for minors), secure borders, or deportation of illegals.
Other media pundits have suggested that Trump-voting relatives are a deal-breaker and that holiday get-togethers should be cancelled all together. WOW! No gifts, no holiday cards, no roast turkey, no eggnog, and absolutely no songs sung together around the family piano. Talk about sore losers! Bing Crosby and Perry Como would roll over in their graves. Others suggested that if Uncle Paul and Aunt Minny are the offending Trump-voting Republicans, you should simply fail to invite them. This appears to be the 21st century version of the Hatfields and the McCoys.
Just So There’s No Confusion
Just so there’s no confusion—that’s how the letter began that I received from Louisiana Senator John Kennedy. Yes, it was an appeal for a campaign contribution, but what a letter! Long-time readers of the Equal Opportunity Times are aware that I consider Senator Kennedy an intellectual giant and one of the finest Senators ever to grace that chamber. The left hates—no, despises— Senator Kennedy with a passion. That should tell you all you need to know.
I have watched many videos of Kennedy questioning Biden’s judicial appointees about the U.S. Constitution, only for the candidate to squirm in their seat and reply that they aren’t familiar with that clause of the Constitution. Kennedy’s grilling of liberal judicial nominees starts with basics like this: Can you tell me about Article II of the Constitution or the meaning of the Commerce Clause?
Through intense questioning, Kennedy uncovers the unadulterated stupidity of inexperienced and unqualified liberals nominated to important government offices. As many of you are aware, I am not a citizen of Louisiana, yet I will be contributing a healthy sum to Senator Kennedy’s campaign because his voice of reason is needed in the U.S. Senate.
Yes, There Are Congressional Republicans Past Their Prime Too
If you don’t live in Texas, you may not be familiar with GOP Congresswoman Kay Granger (R- TX). Apparently, this representative hasn’t voted on a bill in six months and lives in a nursing home. Granger is 81 years old and has served in Congress for 26 years. Unfortunately, she is a poster child for term limits.
Brandon Granger, the Congresswoman’s son, is reported to have told a local Texas newspaper that his mom is “having some dementia-related issues.”
Yet her 25- person-strong staff keeps her Capitol Hill office running in her absence, proclaiming, “Move along; nothing to see here, folks.” This is reminiscent of the deceptions hoisted upon the American people by President Biden’s handlers that insist the President is at the top of his game. The best solution is term limits and severe monetary penalties for staffers who deceive the American people about their bosses. Better yet, toss their asses in jail.
NY Governor Champions Efforts to Fight Crime While Horrific Crimes Take Place
Yes, it’s my personal opinion that New York Governor Kathy Hochul (D-NY) is one of the worst governors in the history of the Empire State. Media reports that while she was touting New York subway safety, there where two stabbings, and one woman was set on fire and later died.
All this happened on New York subways while Hochul was hyping improved safety underground. While a gruesome murder was taking place, the governor posted on social media that crime was going down. Unfortunately, this liberal excuse for a high-ranking Democrat is clueless and would serve humanity better by inspecting concrete footings at upstate New York prisons.
New York Governor Lunacy ─ Part 1 (of course, I will follow up with part 2)
Yet again, New York Governor Kathy Hochul’s name is splashed across media headlines proclaiming that she signed a bill forcing “big oil” to pay for climate change damage.
On the other side of the country, California Governor Gavin Newsom is blaming his state’s budget deficit on climate change and by extension blaming it on “big oil.”
Let’s try to unpack some of this, shall we? First, it screams that these governors’ actions reflect their attempts at hoisting new fees on the industry responsible for them not sitting in the dark and shivering in the winter. That said, I sincerely doubt that the governors’ mansions are 100 percent powered by windmills and solar collectors.
My beef is how the Legislation links oil industry actions to an alleged injury. Can New York’s new law, beyond any doubt, tie Chevron’s actions to a tornado, a hurricane, or a cold spell? Did Exxon, through its actions or inactions, cause a heat wave or tropical storm that wiped out a California pier in a town that now has the right to extort funds to pay for a pier replacement? Did Valero Energy and its refining capacity conclusively cause a deluge of rain that wiped away a community center? How exactly can these laws link a supposed crime or outcome to a weather pattern that began in the Gulf of Mexico or for that matter in the Pacific or Atlantic Oceans?
Show me the math.
January saw a polar vortex form over much of the US reaching as far down as Florida. My guess is that thousands of acres of orange crops might freeze and be thrown in the trash. In a Democrat politician’s mind, obviously it’s the fault of occidental Petroleum and Exxon and they have to pay for all damages! These lunatic laws force energy companies to pay for supposed damages that cannot be proved. I will go out on a limb here and put it out into the universe that laws such as these will only become fact in blue states. Care to argue that?
Is This New, or Have I Been in the Dark All This Time?
I recently came across a reference I have never heard of before—Weather Porn. I’m somewhat familiar (at a distance) with the regular type, but weather? A lot of folks across the nation seem to be glued to the Weather Channel, watching hour upon hour of hurricanes and tornados rip through towns, causing untold disaster and misery in their wake.
Far be it from me to declare a tornado unsexy, but I kind of understand people gluing their eyes to the destruction—kind of like passing a wreck on the highway and struggling not to look. But the wise guy in me wonders that if some folks are weather porn junkies, then what other type of porn are they binging on? Just a thought…
It’s Not About Skin Color ─ It’s About Character
I’m happy that we as a nation are closing the chapter on the Biden-Harris Administration and its war on character. Individuals are chosen for high positions, notwithstanding deeply flawed characters, ethics, and lack of experience. The Administration was populated by checking the correct progressive leftist boxes, along with the inclusion of bureaucrats based on sexual orientation, leftist politics, and skin color rather than character and credentials. Character matters. I’m not saying that the new administration won’t have its flaws as well, but I think that starting from a foundation of do they have the skills, credentials, and experience to do the job is a good beginning. It’s high time that we match the job with the skillset and character of the individual, not on characteristics that don’t matter.
Will the Squad Ever Get It Right?
Evidently, when a murderer is caught, convicted by a jury of their peers, and sentenced to death, that death penalty is now considered racist. It appears that Squad members are applauding President Biden’s clemency of 37 murderers. They—the murderers, not the Squad members (unfortunately)—will now receive life in prison at a cost of millions and millions of dollars.
About 98 percent of federal death row inmates are Caucasian and African American males convicted of murder. How the political morons that make up the Squad deems the death penalty racist is beyond me. Should you have the answer, please contact me at 1-800-Don’t-Give-A-Shit.
Elections Have Consequences
The American people have spoken. They voted against four more years of the disastrous Biden- Harris policies. Recall how Kamala Harris stated in a nationally televised TV interview that she would not change anything that Biden had done. If that is not a vote of confidence for a diminished mental capacity chief executive, I don’t know what is.
Various media sources tell me that Democrats, especially progressive nut-job liberals, are readying an anti-Trump, in-your-face campaign. Recall how Congresswoman/asshat Maxine Waters (D-CA) encouraged her followers to hound Trump Administration employees in church, restaurants, and on street corners to let them know they were not welcome among civilized (liberal) Americans. So I expect a number of articles to detail shouting matches at Starbucks, Denny’s, Chipotle, Taco Bell, and the local diner—all focusing on the evil, godless employees of the Trump Administration.
And in case you missed it, some Washington, DC, food workers have vowed to make Trump officials not welcome at their establishments. I hope the owners and general managers of the restaurants fire their asses on the spot for disrespecting customers.
Notwithstanding the socialist wannabees’ outrage that law and order is coming back to town, I fully expect foot-stomping, mass protests, bellowing, and a loud racket to persist for months if not years. It’s amazing that there are tens of millions of Americans who persist in believing that unchecked immigration, 7 percent mortgage rates, ongoing inflation, out-of-control crime, insane identity politics, and wasteful government spending policies are good things to be defended at the ballot box.
You will find many of my interviews on my website at EOCritic.com.
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