Welcome to Equal Opportunity Times #98. There’s been some discussion about what I should do when I reach my 100th edition of the Equal Opportunity Times. I haven’t reached any decision yet and am open to any thoughts you, my dear readers, might have. Here are some of the suggestions put forth so far:

• Compile them into a sequel to the Erasing America book
• Just ignore it and keep on writing
• Take a cruise to Indiana
• Get a haircut and shave off your beard
• Take a writing class
• Stop writing – you made your point

So if you have any suggestions, I am happy to entertain them. Simply email me at EOCritic@ProtonMail.com and tell me what’s on your mind.

 

California’s $20 Fast Food Increase Law an Utter Failure

California Assembly Bill 1228 was a clusterf**k from the get-go. The law mandated a $20 per hour minimum wage for fast food workers and the creation of the Fast-Food Council.

Surprisingly, Woke University of California at Berkeley released a study confirming what non- Democrats suspected. Well, those with a brain stem told the politicians that this would result in increased menu prices AND thousands of lost jobs. Guess what? A Berkeley Research Group study released on February 18, 2025, just confirmed it. After passage of the law, between June 2023 and June 2024, 10,700 fast food jobs were lost, and menu prices soared 14.5%.

According to the California Globe, the study debunked the idea that the new law created jobs. Automation increased dramatically as restaurant owners utilized mechanization and AI to replace costly employees. A Bureau of Labor Statistics study found that 89% of affected fast food establishments cut employee hours in the first three to four months of the new $20 minimum wage. It’s reported that over 1,000 California fast food restaurants closed after the law took effect.

What’s incredible is that the left-wing politicians in California refuse to see or understand the law of unintended consequences. They refuse to understand that business owners vote with their wallets and choose instead to move their operations to a more business-friendly state such as Nevada, Texas, or Florida.

Politicians never have to meet Friday payrolls, pour over P&L statements, or spend time requesting loans from bank loan officers to keep their operations afloat. They know of none of this and yet voted to increase expenses for business owners while not offering them anything in return. Were the fast-food employees directed to be 20% more efficient, effective, or knowledgeable? No, of course not. They simply got more money for doing the same thing they did before.

 

Sometimes You Just Gotta Laugh

So why would I do it? I hadn’t done it in probably fifteen years, but there I was, curious about what I was missing. I typed in the website address carefully—Onion.com—and what was staring me in the face? It was an article detailing how our new Secretary of Defense had sent 3,000 US troops not to the Southern border but on a beer run! I just stopped and laughed like jolly ol’ Saint Nick. So if you want a giggle now and then, check out this website and remember that not a word is true, probably…

 

President Trump’s Speech to a Joint Session of Congress 

Wow! As political theater goes, I’ve never seen better. Trump was at the top of his game in his speech to a joint session of Congress, even as Democrats sat stone-faced, lifting paddles with messages that MUSK STEALS, nary a word whispered among them. Some were dressed in pink to draw attention to the fact that they hate everything the President stands for, including reducing illegal immigration, lowering inflation, unleashing America’s energy, and rooting out federal fraud, abuse, and theft.

Even during moments when family survivors of murdering illegals were recognized or a spotlight was shone on a young boy with brain cancer, the Democrats sat there, not a one supporting the President. When a child was presented with his own Secret Service badge, there was not a show of support anywhere on the Democratic left. It’s as if the Democrats have lost all their humanity in a show of solidarity—a message that they despise everything Republicans stand for. Even the talk of balancing the budget—no visible reaction whatsoever because all their wasteful spending on special interests and NGOs would grind to a halt.

While the political theater was top-notch, I was deeply embarrassed as an American at the lack of humanity of all the Democrats seated in the chamber. My guess is that Hakeem Jeffries and Chuck Schumer instructed them to never show support or they would lose their committee assignments

 

If Only This Were True!

Banning butter knives? If liberal progressives had their way, this staple of the family dinner table would go the way of the telephone booth and the typewriter. It seems they are all up in arms over the unsharpened accoutrement that butters our bread at dinnertime.

Apparently, a few Squad members learned of an attack at a holiday festival in São Tomé, a small African island nation that sits atop the equator. The nation has a population about half that of Wyoming. In the 1900s, it was best known as an exporter of cocoa and dubbed the Chocolate Nation. Apparently, it has fallen on hard times as global trade took a sharp turn and left the nation in the weeds.

That doesn’t sit too well with the ruling clan who took to attacking relatives with butter knives at a recent religious gathering. Word is that four men were severely buttered-’n’-battered and the island is considering a ban on all butter knives. How the Squad learned of this fiasco is beyond me. Must have been written up in the New York Post!

Yes, that was a little fun fiction…

 

Biden’s Department of the Interior Found Itself in a Pickle

First, let me say that I am truly impressed by President Trump’s choice for Secretary of the Interior, Doug Burgum, former Governor of North Dakota. He will spearhead the administration’s goal of unleashing America’s energy and natural resources. He will be unlike Biden’s Secretary of the Interior who greenlit the development and construction of 5+ acres of Las Vegas land for thirty brand new pickleball courts that the local community opposed.

 

What We Worry About

As we all know, the super-rich are not like us mortals. Those with billions to spare have different worries than you and I, although there are a few commonalities sprinkled about. Most on the minds of the billionaire class is anything that will dent their wallets such as high inflation, higher taxes, war, recession, and stock market crashes. Truth be told, some of those are on my nightmare list as well. But more normal folks—you know, those without eight-figure net worths—get pissed off about other stuff such as Denny’s egg surcharges, Starbucks changing their coffee cup design at Christmas, the Ford F-150 massive recall, the closing of Big Lots stores, and most of all, our local malls going out of business.

And speaking about worry…

The Biden gang oversaw four years of American destruction, including massive hits to our economy. Organized theft skyrocketed because of lax laws and police department downsizing. The National Retail Federation estimated inventory loss among retailers at approximately $112 billion for 2023. As a result of increasing crime and inflation, common retail names are downsizing left and right since they can no longer remain profitable. Here is a sampling of the downsizing I have read about:

• Foot Locker will downsize by 400 stores
• Family Dollar Store will close over 650 locations
• Party City closed forever
• Big Lots closed 400 stores
• CVS closed over 575 underperforming stores
• Walgreens closed 500 underperforming stores
• American Freight closed all 328 stores

What Will It Take for Small Businesses to Get Back on Their Feet?

America’s small businesses ain’t that small, not by a long shot. Official government figures indicate that there are over 34 million small businesses that employ some 60 million people. These are companies that employ less than 500 workers—a far cry from Apple’s 164,000 employee headcount. And how have these businesses been treated during the Biden years? In a word, horribly. The reasons are many, including a massive hike in prices (inflation), skyrocketing crime, and overregulation bordering on a death grip.

Yet there is a ray of sunshine peeking through the Hurricane Biden catastrophe. No, it’s not a business version of a competent FEMA. It happens to be optimism spurred by a new President, the promise of deregulation, lower inflation, and cheaper energy prices. If small businesses drive the US economy, low energy prices fuel small business expansion. Consider that 72% of US products are delivered by truck, and it doesn’t take a genius to do the math. Lower energy prices may translate to lower prices of goods on the store shelves. And so it’s not lost on you. The overregulation has been especially painful for small businesses since they are least able to afford armies of lawyers, accountants, and consultants like Johnson & Johnson and Microsoft can.

Proving a business is in compliance with scores of regulations can bankrupt a business quickly— a hell of an outcome that Democrats seem to not care about.

 

I Surprise Easily Now That I’m Officially Old 

There I was, minding my own business when I spied the following Fox News headline:

Agriculture Secretary Cancels $600K Grant

for Study on Menstrual Cycles in Transgender Men 

My first reaction—“huh?” My second—isn’t the Agriculture Department in charge of farming, crops, and soil? And eventually, I got around to the rest of this insane headline and thought to myself, thank God adults are once again in charge of the government.

It looks like the Biden Administration (who else) threw $600,000 to Southern University Agriculture and Mechanical College for this study. I guess they figured if a truly gifted Dr. Shwartzman at some downtown medical university can turn a man into a woman with scalpels, an artificial uterus, and drugs, why shouldn’t they have periods too?

 

An Alligator Ain’t a Fish

Would a reasonable person consider a poodle part of the T-Rex family? How about similarities between a salmon and a wasp? Then why on earth would a New Orleans Archbishop consider alligators to be part of the fish family? No, folks, I ain’t making this up!

A March 14, 2025, article published by Fox News told readers that an Archbishop in New Orleans told a questioning parishioner that alligator meat is okay to eat on Fridays during Lent because alligators are part of the fish family. Not so fast, Bishop. It’s true that meat is considered to be cows, pigs, sheep, and chickens. And yes, birds are considered meat even though they have wings. But alligators are seafood? Even if this loophole dates back hundreds of years, I still think it creates an end-run around good ol’ fashioned common sense.

P.S. Enjoy your gator sandwich…

 

Would a Reasonable Person Consider This Hypocritical?

Per testimony from Ms. Elaine Kamarck, the director of President Bill Clinton’s reinventing initiative, an estimated 377,000 federal employees were eliminated between January 1993 and September 2000.   President Clinton announced the formation of the National Performance

Review, led by Vice President Al Gore. Its goal, according to President Clinton’s announcement, was “…to make the entire federal government both less expensive and more efficient, and to change the culture of our national bureaucracy away from complacency and entitlement toward initiative and empowerment.”

Yet in the first two months of Donald Trump’s Presidency, the firing of 30,000 federal workers has caused Democrats to go berserk. The takeaway is that it’s okay to fire government workers if you’re a Democrat, but it’s treasonous to do it if you are a Republican.

 

Teaching Others How to Shovel Shit

Yes, it’s true. The Biden Administration in its off-the-wall wisdom of wasting taxpayer funds sent $20 million overseas to teach farmers best practices for using manure and fertilizer to optimize crop growth. Vietnam, Brazil, Pakistan, and Columbia were most likely very grateful for the imported dollars to support farm/manure research because obviously, they have no money to research it themselves.

 

When Idiots Are Allowed to Roam Free

Yes, I broke my own rule. I scanned the dreaded New York Post and came across yet another reason why this media company should be padlocked, shuttered, and erased from history. So what led me to this conclusion? The headline screamed.

Plus-Sized Influencer Demands McLaren Sports Cars

Increase Seat Size to Accommodate Her Booty: ‘Should Be for Everyone’

Evidently, this 225-pound, 27-year-old, plus-sized Panamanian-born influencer is of the opinion that the world does indeed revolve around her and must submit to and adhere to her childish and off-the-wall demands. Perhaps this lady should go on a diet and get her oversized rump to the gym or shop for a Hummer that can accommodate her 56-inch caboose. And for what it’s worth, I don’t feel influenced, not one bit.

 

An Unfortunate Spectacle

By now we all know that Congressman Al Green (D-TX) was ejected from President Trump’s speech to a joint session of Congress in March. Green’s behavior was deplorable, disrespectful, and childlike. As I read about the incident in online media, I noted that when a member of Congress is censured, it is largely symbolic, akin to a slap on the wrist in front of the whole class—in other words, a public shaming and humiliation.

In the days that followed, the Congressman was indeed censured—big deal. Well, I have a proposal for Congress to consider, one that has its roots in professional hockey and basketball. I propose that when a member is censured, they lose the following privileges:

• Not permitted to attend sessions of Congress for 30 days
• Not permitted to submit new legislative bills for 30 days
• Not permitted to vote on legislation for 30 days

Oh, and one more thing, they should be fined $25,0000 for their errant behavior. If fines are good enough for the NHL, NBA, and NFL, they’re good enough for our elected politicians.

 

Biden Threw Money at Paraguay’s Border – NOT Our Own

It seems that landlocked Paraguay was on the receiving end of US taxpayers’ money in the amount of $2.1 million for improvements to its border security. Since Paraguay is surrounded by Argentina, Brazil, and Bolivia, I’m certain those millions would have been better spent fortifying border walls in Texas, Arizona, or California.

 

A Mockery of Common Sense

Imagine, if you will, the Defense Department inking a contract with a Mexican-cartel-owned fabrication business located near Seattle. Imagine further that this imaginary company is in the business of making bullet-proof vests for law enforcement organizations. Now, let’s further assume that it appears there is an issue with quality control, and it seems that a whole bunch of vests destined for SWAT teams in major US cities are defective and will not protect the wearers against most gunfire. Farfetched? Anyone with a pound of common sense would immediately ask the following questions:

• How could a Mexican cartel own a business in the US?
• How on earth could this business get a contract for armoring the police?
• Was there any due diligence performed on the business before signing the contract?
• How is there no quality control?
• Which idiots should we put in prison for this fiasco?

We’ve all heard the line that truth is often stranger than fiction. With that in mind, fasten your seatbelts, place your tray in the upright position, and get ready for takeoff. This is where reality is dumber than riding in a convertible during a Nebraska hailstorm.

As reported by Newsweek reporter Ellie Cook, faulty armor plates were delivered to the Pentagon by a Russian-owned company in Portland, Oregon. The armor plating, used in combat vehicles by the U.S. Army and allied militaries were fabricated by Evraz North America. Newsweek reported that almost 13,000 armor plates either skipped important inspections or had inspections falsely labeled as inspected and approved. Local Portland media reported that the FBI visited the facility in mid- 2024.

My take: Do we ask North Korea to produce artillery shells for us? Do we ask China to manufacture our ICBMs? Do we ask Iran to produce our intercontinental bombers? Then why the hell do we have a Russian company on US soil manufacturing steel-plated armor for the U.S. Army? Whoever the idiot is at the Pentagon who greenlit this clusterfuck needs to be fired and jailed.

 

Bits ’n’ Pieces

In case nobody noticed, 30-year mortgage rates have been falling ever since Joe Biden left the White House, and obviously, mainstream media has said nothing about this.

Word has it that a Bernie Sanders fundraiser had a special performance by a trans singer. Why does nothing surprise me anymore? Next, I suppose ol’ Bernie will come out as a non-binary socialist politician.

Just a hunch, but I guess that President Xi of China and President Putin of Russia were praying mighty hard that Kamala Harris would win the presidency so they could continue walking all over America. I’m thinking that they might be displeased that they have to deal with Donald Trump again.

Hijacking all the oxygen in the room appears to be the new phrase when describing a blowhard who won’t shut up and loves to hear themselves talk. Just sayin’…

“The written word speaks.”

—Rodger Friedman

“Arrest him and deport him or, at the very least, tax him until his eyeballs bleed.”

—Charles Pierce, Esquire Magazine, regaling us on the evil Elon Musk

See ya soon…

 

You will find many of my interviews on my website at  https://eocritic.com./

 

This private email message, including any attachment(s), CCs, BCCs, or REPLIES, are covered under this NOTICE and is limited to the sole use of the intended recipient and may contain privileged and/or confidential PRIVATE information. Any and all political, private, or public entities, federal, state, or local corporate government(s), municipality(ies), international organization(s), corporation(s), live individual(s), person(s), agent(s), investigator(s), or informant(s), et al., and/or third party(ies) working in collusion by collecting, observing, monitoring, and/or analyzing my email(s), using any means of spying and/or data collection is PROHIBITED. Without my exclusive WRITTEN permission, all communications herein are PRIVATE. In de jure freedom.

Any omission(s) not specifically enumerated herein cannot be construed as permission by default. This notice prohibits any and all unauthorized review, use, disclosure, or distribution, verbally or otherwise, with explicit reservation of all my rights, without prejudice and without recourse to me. Any omission does not constitute a waiver of any and/or ALL intellectual property rights or reserved rights!

 

 

DISCLAIMER: This is solely for entertainment purposes. Published and distributed by EOCritic LLC. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced by mechanical, photographic, or electronic process, or in the form of recording, nor may it be stored in a retrieval system, transmitted, or otherwise copied for public use or private use—other than “fair use” as brief quotations embodied in articles and reviews—without the prior written permission of the publisher and/or the author.

This is provided with the understanding that the author and publisher are not engaged in rendering legal, accounting, investment, or other professional advice or services. If these services are required, the services of a competent professional should be sought.

 

No liability is assumed with respect to the use of the information contained herein. Although every precaution has been taken, the author and publisher assume no liability for errors or omissions. Neither is any liability assumed for damages resulting from the use of the information contained herein.

 

Copyright © 2025 EOCritic LLC

You know all those DEI hires we’ve read about at the Secret Service? Well, Presidents Clinton, Obama, and Biden, and their families were all hired for diversity purposes and permitted to score lower on all sorts of metrics. Well, how admirable that was for these Democratic Presidents, and if they failed at their duties—oh well, at least quotas were met.

 

Was I the Last One to Get the Memo? 

For those who really know me, you know I have been a lifelong fan of two things—Superman and Star Trek. As far back as I can remember, I spent countless hours reading their adventures and watching every show and movie. But now, Superboy is bisexual in the comics, and a Star Trek captain is kissing another guy on a bridge. That’s not the Supes and Trek I grew up with. DC and Paramount have drunk the woke Kool-Aid and feel they must represent all colors of the gender and sexuality rainbow.

 

File This Under Who Gives a Damn 

In an interview on MSNBC, failed Vice Presidential candidate Tim Walz admitted that losing the election was “pure hell.” He went on to confess that he, like everyone else, was fatigued. His time as Governor of Minnesota has been one disaster after another, beginning in the summer of 2020 with George Floyd and the ensuing riots that decimated over 1,500 properties and caused  over $500 million in property damage. He waited three days before calling out the National Guard while we watched Minnesota burn on TV. If you were to ask me who was the worst candidate on that ticket—Harris or Walz—I honestly could not answer that since as I think both of them are terrible government servants.

 

Geriatric Senate Buffoon Jerry Nadler Is Mad as a Hornet 

Nadler is irate that the American people had the sheer audacity to reelect Donald Trump. It wasn’t so long ago (November 2024) that Nadler actually fell asleep during a Congressional hearing on antisemitism and ultimately voted against the Antisemitism Awareness Act. Along with many others, Nadler is another poster child for term limits in Congress.

 

Lego Madness

I was caught off guard reading a Fox News headline about a science museum claiming that Lego toys push a “heteronormative agenda.” Seems there was an LGBTQ tour going on called Seeing Things Queerly, and they called out how Lego purposely excludes other gender identities. They were focusing on how the plastic pieces connect with each other and how they might be termed male and female connectors. Well, I’m going to come right out and say it. These people are bat- shit nuts. I recommend they get a life and stop criticizing toys that have been around for over fifty years, Next, they will be calling out Teletubbies, Clifford the Big Red Dog, Ken and Barbie, and on and on. Even the Addams Family won’t be safe.

 

Off to the Races with a Brand New Democratic Call for Impeachment 

WOW! I thought it would take longer, but Democrat Texas Congressman Al Green has filed articles of impeachment against Donald Trump, alleging, among other things, “ethnic cleansing in Gaza.” What’s more, Green alleges that the President has (and you can’t make this up, folks) proposed dastardly deeds and done dastardly deeds. You might recall that this Houston, Texas, excuse for a lawmaker filed articles of impeachment against President Trump in his first term— not once, but three times.

 

Note 

I am impressed with the speed of change that our President has brought to the federal government. Obviously, the American electorate voted for change, not more of the Biden-Harris failed policies.

President Trump has hit the ground running and accomplished more in a month than Biden did in years. He has brought a new vitality to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue that has been absent for years. He has likely participated in more press conferences than Biden did during his entire administration.

Meanwhile, the usual suspects—Democrats Waters, Schumer, Nadler, Schiff, Raskin, Jeffries, Pelosi, and others—are screaming in rage at the drastic changes Trump has announced. In particular are the video clips I watched of Waters, along with 30 House

Democrats, attempting to bully their way into the Department of Education without an appointment. They demanded to speak with the Secretary of Education, shouting,  “We pay your salaries!”

Sorry, Ms. Waters, the Department of Education falls under the authority of the Executive Branch of the government, and you have no right to barge in without an appointment. However, it was a real spectacle as the Congresswoman from California shouted at the lone security guard and demanded to see his ID while he stared straight ahead.

 

100 Coal Plants? Yes, Chairman! 

It seems that China doesn’t have much respect for AOC and her merry band of Progressive Green New Deal Democrats. In fact, I read that China is planning to build 100 new coal plants. I’m going out on a limb here, but I’m pretty sure China has its own version of the EPA. They won’t care about wacko ecologists who would rather save a tadpole than grow a strong economy.

And what about China’s commitments to help fight global warming and climate change? Well, let’s just say it’s not at the top of their to-do list right now. The CCP (Chinese Communist Party) believes that reducing carbon emissions is fine for the other guys. An April 2024 article by Carbon Brief indicated that China is responsible for 95 percent of all new coal-fired power plants globally. Seems they didn’t get Joe Biden’s memos.

 

A Firm Grasp of the Obvious 

Leave it to Massachusetts Democratic Senator Elizabeth Warren to tell everyone who will listen that DOGE (Department of Government Efficiency) appears to be “a venue for corruption.” Forget for a moment that Elon Musk and his team have identified scores of government programs that do nothing to advance the interests of America but, in fact, spread DEI and LGBTQ programs around the world. Warren lectures Musk that she has a list of thirty tax-saving ideas for cutting waste. Her thoughts are to lower Defense Department spending, reduce spending for charter schools, break up large corporations, and look into some pet projects of this left-wing lunatic. Meanwhile, DOGE has identified for elimination scores of left-wing pet projects at USAID and the State Department (see below).

 

• Assisting Indonesian coffee companies become more gender friendly ($425,000)
• Building EV charging stations in Vietnam ($2.5 million)
• Creating Irish musicals promoting DEI ($70,000)
• Promoting job opportunities for LGBTQ individuals in Serbia ($1.5 million)
• Promoting DEI among LGBTQ groups in Cypress ($8,000)
• Pressuring Lithuanian corporations to promote and adopt DEI values ($10,000)
• Fostering “a united and equal queer-feminist discourse” in Albania ($16,500)
• Supporting an LGBTQ community center in Bratislava, Slovakia ($80,000)
• Promoting being LGBTQ in the Caribbean ($3,315,446)
• Supporting an LGBTQ-centered comic book in Peru ($32,000)
• Boosting French-speaking LGBTQ groups in West and Central Africa ($1 million)

 

What President Trump, Elon Musk, and DOGE have brought America is a revolution of common sense. I will debate Elizabeth Warren all day long on her ideas to slash government spending versus the waste that DOGE has identified in less than three weeks.

 

From Indoctrination to Ambition ─ What Hath Trump Unleashed?

Might America’s young be veering off the horrific Biden-Harris kumbaya path after four long years of gender-bending higher education that prepared them only for jobs in inclusive engagement offices and HR departments? Gone will be groups of students holding hands, each proclaiming their preferred pronouns and genders for the entire campus to hear and celebrate.

While some of them view Trump’s changes as extreme gender hostility, many others view them as a return to common sense—that there are only two genders, absent a surgeon’s scalpel and pharmaceuticals to stop or bypass the human body’s natural functions.

 President Trump’s Executive Order covers colleges and universities that have endowments of more than $1 billion and receive federal money for research. Stop all DEI everything immediately. Here are some of the universities this targets:

Johns Hopkins University Stanford University Harvard University Arizona State University Michigan State University

North Carolina State University Northeastern University

University of California San Francisco And scores more

Perhaps the trickle-down theory of economics will morph into the trickle-down theory of we don’t do that anymore as dozens of universities lose their federal funding if they don’t toss all DEI/CRT directives in the trash.

 

We Will not Go Quietly into the Night

While not a rampage, it’s still interesting (well, maybe) that META employees have staged a pushback to Chairman Zuckerberg’s plan to remove tampons from all men’s rooms at corporate facilities. As absurd as this is, most every major legacy media outlet saw fit to report it. The media termed it “quiet rebellions” after about five employees circulated a petition to “save the tampons.”

 

The Clown Called Harris

 If you sat through any of Kamala Harris’s presidential campaign speeches or TV spots, you would have witnessed what the media called “word salad.” You would have immediately picked up on the broad generalities (Trump is bad, I’m good) and these standard liberal Democratic talking points:

• More trans rights and DEI
• Government-guaranteed sex change surgeries for prison inmates and all illegals
• Government-paid abortions for all
• Universal healthcare and universal income
• Tax the rich
• MAGA is bad

I don’t recall Harris focusing on a single unambiguous policy point—ever. She spoke in circles, careful never to be pinned down to specific policies. It was as if she was trying her hardest not to say anything credible. Meanwhile, across town, Donald Trump was hammering home specific policy issues such as close the border, deport illegals, lower inflation, address crime, drill baby drill, deregulate, the Panama Canal, fentanyl, and more.

Trump won by appealing to America’s minds, asking if they truly wanted four more years of Biden-Harris liberal identity policies. He pointed out that Harris had accomplished nothing as Vice President, that she had four years to fix the ills she spoke of yet fixed nothing at all. Trump campaigned as a meaningful specific. Harris campaigned as a wandering generality. By now, Kamala Harris has crawled back under the rock from whence she came.

 

Adam Schiff ─ The Congressman That California’s Idiots Elevated to the US Senate 

It is not often I include Congressional resolutions in these bi-monthly updates. But the scheming, lying, and colluding that Adam Schiff is guilty of is both sickening and overwhelming. I have included the resolution in its entirety because I doubt that most Americans are aware of the depth and breadth of his illegal schemes and deceptions.

 

118th CONGRESS

1st Session

H. RES. 437

 

Censuring and condemning Adam Schiff, Representative of California’s 30th Congressional District.

 

IN THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES May 23, 2023

Mrs. Luna submitted the following resolution; which was referred to the Committee on Ethics

 

RESOLUTION

Censuring and condemning Adam Schiff, Representative of California’s 30th Congressional District.

Whereas the allegation that President Donald Trump colluded with Russia to steal the 2016 Presidential election has been revealed as false by numerous in-depth investigations, including the recent report by Special Counsel John Durham, which documents how the conspiracy theory was invented, funded, and spread by President’s Trump’s political rivals;

Whereas Representative Adam Schiff, who served as ranking minority member and then Chairman of the Permanent Select Committee on Intelligence of the House of Representatives (HPSCI), occupied positions of extreme trust, affording him access to sensitive intelligence unavailable to most Members of Congress;

Whereas for years Representative Schiff abused this trust by citing evidence of collusion that—as is clear from reports by Special Counsel Robert Mueller, Department of Justice Inspector General Michael Horowitz, and Special Counsel Durham—does not exist;

Whereas by repeatedly telling these falsehoods, Representative Schiff purposely deceived his Committee, Congress, and the American people;

 Whereas Representative Schiff lent credibility to the Steele dossier—a collection of debunked collusion accusations funded by President Trump’s political rivals—by reading false Steele allegations into the Congressional Record at a HPSCI hearing on March 20, 2017;

Whereas, once again abusing his privileged access to classified information, Representative Schiff composed a false memo justifying the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act (FISA) warrant application on Trump associate Carter Page, which Inspector General Horowitz later found was riddled with 17 major mistakes and omissions, provoking FISA Court Presiding Judge Rosemary Collyer to state unequivocally that the Federal Bureau of Investigation “mislead the FISC”;

Whereas by publicly smearing Carter Page as a Russian collaborator and justifying spurious investigations of him, Representative Schiff contributed to the gross violation of a United States citizen’s civil liberties, thereby committing the very abuses HPSCI is tasked with identifying and thwarting;

Whereas, as HPSCI ranking minority member and Chairman, Representative Schiff  behaved dishonestly and dishonorably on many other occasions, including by falselydenying that his staff coordinated with a whistleblower to launch the first impeachment of President Trump;

Whereas, as part of his impeachment efforts, during an HPSCI hearing on September 26, 2019, Representative Schiff recited a false, concocted rendition of a phone call between President Trump and Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky;

Whereas Representative Schiff exploited his positions on HPSCI to encourage and excuse abusive intelligence investigations of Americans for political purposes; Whereas Representative Schiff used his position and access to sensitive information to instigate a fraudulently based investigation, which he then used to amass political gain and fundraising dollars; and

Whereas the American taxpayers paid $32 million to fund the investigation into collusion that was launched as a result of Rep. Schiff’s lies, misrepresentations, and abuses of sensitive information: Now, therefore, be it

Resolved, That—

• the House of Representatives censures and condemns Adam Schiff, Representative of California’s 30th Congressional District, for conduct that misleads the American people in a way that is not befitting an elected Member of the House of Representatives;
• Representative Adam Schiff will forthwith present himself in the well of the House of Representatives for the pronouncement of censure;
• Representative Adam Schiff will be censured with the public reading of this resolution by the Speaker; and
• Representative Adam Schiff be, and is hereby, fined in the amount of $16,000,000.

 

The Bartender Calls Out the Billionaire

What can I say about one of the least intelligent politicians on Capitol Hill? Plenty, it seems. 

Long-time readers of The Equal Opportunity Times are familiar with my utter disdain and contempt for Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY). Her loud mouth and progressive socialist banter have made her a social media darling with millions of idiots following her every word. Her latest tirade involves Elon Musk whom she terms an “unintelligent billionaire.” This résumé-light former bartender and Bernie Sanders supporter who calls Trump a fascist insists that people can change genders and sees Elon Musk as a danger to America. And truth be told, I got a kick out of her line (caught on video)—“This dude is not smart, and the danger in the lack of intelligence and the lack of expertise that Elon has, I mean, this guy is one of the most morally vacant, but also just least knowledgeable about these systems that we know of.”

Before we close out this discussion of high-minded Democrats and Mr. Musk, I found it amusing that MSN characterized Elon Musk’s review of federal government expenditures by his team as “he and his henchmen”—like it was a criminal gang involved in the heist of a jewelry store. You may want to pay attention to the adjectives used by left-wing corporate media. Could they have said Musk’s associates? Of course they could have. But they chose to use henchmen, reminiscent of Batman battling the Joker, Riddler, Penguin, and their henchmen!

 

An Idea Worth Sharing 

Several years ago I attended a celebration of life for a dear friend who was a professional musician. He passed away way too soon. The event was a musical tribute and featured his family and many of his close friends playing his favorite songs on the stage. His family brought his record collection to the event. Hundreds of his albums were arranged on tables in the back of the room with signs that said, “Take as many as you wish—he always wanted to share his music, and we think he would approve.”

I smiled as I combed through dozens of albums and finally selected one to take home with me. You see, he and I grew up together, and for many years we were inseparable. The album I chose was one we purchased together as kids in Greenwich Village. And in case you’re curious, it was the Beatles—the Magical Mystery Tour album, complete with the 24 -page color picture book in pristine condition. It sits in my home library, a constant reminder of my wonderful friend.

You will find many of my interviews on my website at EOCritic.com.

 

This private email message, including any attachment(s), CCs, BCCs, or REPLIES, are covered under this NOTICE and is limited to the sole use of the intended recipient and may contain privileged and/or confidential PRIVATE information. Any and all political, private, or public entities, federal, state, or local corporate government(s), municipality(ies), international organization(s), corporation(s), live individual(s), person(s), agent(s), investigator(s), or informant(s), et al., and/or third party(ies) working in collusion by collecting, observing, monitoring, and/or analyzing my email(s), using any means of spying and/or data collection is PROHIBITED. Without my exclusive WRITTEN permission, all communications herein are PRIVATE. In de jure freedom.

Any omission(s) not specifically enumerated herein cannot be construed as permission by default. This notice prohibits any and all unauthorized review, use, disclosure, or distribution, verbally or otherwise, with explicit reservation of all my rights, without prejudice and without recourse to me. Any omission does not constitute a waiver of any and/or ALL intellectual property rights or reserved rights!

 

 

DISCLAIMER: This is solely for entertainment purposes. Published and distributed by EOCritic LLC. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced by mechanical, photographic, or electronic process, or in the form of recording, nor may it be stored in a retrieval system, transmitted, or otherwise copied for public use or private use—other than “fair use” as brief quotations embodied in articles and reviews—without the prior written permission of the publisher and/or the author.

 

This is provided with the understanding that the author and publisher are not engaged in rendering legal, accounting, investment, or other professional advice or services. If these services are required, the services of a competent professional should be sought.

 

No liability is assumed with respect to the use of the information contained herein. Although every precaution has been taken, the author and publisher assume no liability for errors or omissions. Neither is any liability assumed for damages resulting from the use of the information contained herein.

 

Copyright © 2025 EOCritic LLC

We have all heard that the Social Security trust funds will go bust sooner or later due to gross incompetence on the part of the federal government. Nothing new there—I fully expect gross incompetence from career bureaucrats and politicians. Am I a little biased here? Well, yeah, I have witnessed the government screw things up for decades. Why change now? The new Trump Administration, along with DOGE, may well shake things up, but what’s needed is an act of Congress passed by both chambers and signed into law by the President. That’s a tall order. Does the Beltway crowd have the political will to pull it off? We shall see.

So for now, here is some hard data, compliments of the Social Security Administration. The new maximum earnings subject to Social Security taxes is $176,100. That means employees and employers only pay Social Security taxes on that amount or less of taxable income. Everything over that amount is not subject to the dreaded Social Security tax. Incidentally, the total amount of the tax is 12.4%, split evenly. The employee pays 6.2%, and the employer also pays 6.2%.

I have heard many potential solutions to combat the trust fund’s demise, and some of those schemes seem to be worth considering. Obviously, none of them will be popular. Various groups—from the Boy Scouts to the Sierra Club to Over Achievers Anonymous and the ACLU—will shout at the top of their lungs that any proposed increase is unfair, racist, homophobic, anti-American, and so on. But here are two viable ideas for Congress to consider. Keep in mind that these are not my ideas. They come from research I have studied from the

Social Security Administration, the Congressional Budget Office, the MIT AgeLab, and others. Understand that there are no perfect solutions, but there are a host of pretty damn good ones.

The first idea: Over a five-year period—not 20 to 50 years—increase employer and employee contributions by 1.75% each from the current 6.2% to 7.95%. The total Social Security tax for an employee would be 15.9%, up from 12.4%. That one strategy would allow Captain Kirk and the entire crew of the USS Enterprise to enjoy full Social Security benefits when they return from their five-year mission. Nuff said.

The second idea: Remove the maximum salary cap of $176,100 and make it half a million. Or better yet—and I hear the screaming now—have no cap at all. You make $40 million? You pay Social Security tax on the whole enchilada. Scream at your Congressperson. Serves you right for making $40 million in the first place.

Okay, I’ve solved the Social Security crisis and put the security back in Social Security. What’s next?

 

Odds ’n’ Ends 

An odd Newsmax headline caught my eye in January. It seems that forty-three escaped lab monkeys were captured in December following a spectacular breakout caused by a clumsy lab worker who failed to check that the cage locks were secured. The lab, located in South Carolina, reported the breakout in November, so apparently the monkeys took leisurely strolls through nearby forests, pranked local farmers, and made a general nuisance of themselves before being transported back to the lab. It’s reported that one of the monkeys raised its fist in an act of defiance, kind of like President Trump did when he was shot in Pennsylvania.

A Fox News article written by Jackson Thompson and published January 4, 2025, tells the story of trans varsity runners who have more rights than “regular girls.” While I am not willing to wade waist deep into this mess, I don’t see how one individual is entitled to more rights than another. If you feel like having your stomach turned, take a look at the article online and see this mess for yourself.

FLASH! New York Post ─ A December 31, 2024, article written by Steve Janoski stated the following:

• There was a body of a woman
• Said body had tattoos
• The body was found in New Jersey
• Said corpse was found in a refrigerator in a forest in New Jersey

Folks, you just can’t make this shit up.

Media reports that Joe Biden still regrets dropping out of the presidential race and believes he could have beat Donald Trump. I had planned on writing at least one long paragraph about this delusion, but I am at a loss for words.

 

A Waste of a Perfectly Good $250 Million 

I don’t care who you are or how much money you’ve got in the bank, $250 million is a very large number. It’s so large, in fact, that the University of Michigan has reportedly spent nearly that amount on DEI efforts since 2016 with little if nothing to show for it. As reported in a scathing Newsmax article in the January 2025 print edition, interviews with students and faculty found no discernable benefits from the extraordinary investment in diversity, equity, and inclusion.

Makes me wonder what the $28,600 tuition for the 2024─2025 fall semester actually pays for. Perhaps it’s $25,0000 for DEI and a grand each for professors, heating, and grounds maintenance. Is the whopping $600 left over for administrative salaries?

 

For What It’s Worth

 I tend to ignore articles that begin with the words convicted mommy blogger.

The Belgian Food Safety Authority has issued a warning not to eat Christmas trees. I don’t know, maybe the Belgians are idiots and must be told that.

If there is any justice in the universe, House Democratic leader Hakeem Jeffries’ next job will be scrubbing pigeon shit off signs above the Lincoln Tunnel. A more deranged politician is hard to find.

We are finally done with Biden’s reign as Criticizer-in-Chief. Like an infection, nasty ol’ politicians take a long time to go away.

The media report that the Biden Administration pressured—“yelled and screamed”—at Meta/Facebook execs during the Covid pandemic to take down posts questioning the vaccine. It seems that Biden and Co. were hell bent on suppressing any free speech that did not support their narrative. This recent revelation came from none other than Mark Zuckerberg, Meta’s Chair and Chief Executive.

And no, I’m not done with Meta yet. Evidently this monstrosity of a tech giant recently announced the removal of tampons from men’s rooms at their facilities. Even stranger, this announcement was made by Mark Zuckerberg. One thought—I guess all the men employed by

Meta must be soccer players, football players, or boxers. After all, they are the guys who end up with bloody noses more than the general population and hang out at Starbucks, patiently waiting for their mocha grande, extra whip, extra hot, two pumps of vanilla. We all know that men stick tampons up their noses to stop the blood flow after being hit in the face repeatedly. Okay, enough of Zuckerstein and his merry band of gender-neutral tech heads.

I for one am looking forward to reading Congressman James Comer’s new book, All the President’s Money. It details and highlights the years-long congressional investigation into how the Biden family amassed a fortune of over $30 million by peddling “the Biden Brand.” The Congressman details the 170 suspicious activity reports (SARs) filed with the U.S. Treasury detailing the money trails and over 20 shell companies that facilitated the Biden family’s illicit fortune. Particularly interesting is that the Biden family did not own or operate any legitimate businesses while they siphoned off millions from enemies of the United States. And to top it off, recent photos released by the National Archives show Joe Biden with his son’s business associates—the people President Biden insisted he never met.

 

No, It’s Not Madness ─ It’s Just New York City

The media reports that due to the new vehicle congestion fee of $9 for traveling by car or truck in parts of Manhattan, funeral parlors are considering adding a surcharge to funerals since hearses are not exempt from the congestion fee. When asked about how the extra cost would appear on the dearly departed’s bill, a funeral director was quoted as saying, “We will just add it to the cost of the funeral. A separate line item would appear insensitive.”

Apparently, placing the cadaver on mass transit in New York City is a no-no. Buses and subways explicitly prohibit the transport of the unliving. So for now, busy funeral homes will have to suck up the expense or add it to the funeral services bill under “miscellaneous expenses.”

 

The Promise of America

Remember back when you were in grade school and learned of American exceptionalism? We were told that our country was unique, not like the monarchies of old Europe, and with no royalty or thousand-year-old traditions. We were an upstart nation, born in 1776, young by global standards, yet extraordinary and different from all other nations. From George Washington to John F. Kennedy to today, we became a global superpower unlike anything the world has ever seen. Yet we lost our way and let many of our wonders slip away, instead embracing globalism, socialism, Marxism, and sameness. YES, there are extraordinary Americans such as Elon Musk, Ben Shapiro, Mark Levin, and others. These individuals tower over the average American like a U.S. Navy aircraft carrier towers over an eleven-foot sailboat. America has lost much of its exceptionalism as universities and teachers have beat equality of everything into the heads of our young. You can be smarter than the average of all your classmates, but it is considered unfair if you have strengths that others do not possess.

BULLSHIT! Americans are capable of extraordinary feats of accomplishments, and they must be free to excel to the limits of their gifts and beyond. We have become a nation of sheep with our heads down, grazing (and smoking) grass. My hope is that it is about to change.

 

Banish Idiots from the Senate . . . Please!

Readers of The Equal Opportunity Times are aware that I have previously opined on progressive politicians’ love affairs and fascination with the 32-hour workweek with no reduction in pay.

Nutcase Senator Bernie Sanders (I-VT) introduced legislation in the last Congress, proposing a nationwide 32-hour workweek. His arguments mimic the idiotic, how massive wealth inequality cries out for a shorter workweek in order to enjoy more of what life has to offer without the high stress many career-minded folks deal with. And with the advent of artificial intelligence and advanced technologies, we will no longer need to work as hard because robots will repair farm fences, paint bridges, and remove pigeon shit from municipal buildings. All this, the Senator says, will lead to massive increases in productivity. He pounds the table—veins popping out of his forehead—and proclaims that productivity gains are not just for billionaires. It’s sad to think that Bernie could not pass an intro to accounting course at a community college. Although I generally hate to repeat myself, Senator Sanders presents an airtight case for term and age limits in Congress.

 

Oh the Pain!

On January 19, 2025, TikTok went dark in the United States. China pulled the plug hours before the American ban was to begin. The chorus of screams from Millennials, Gen-X, and mostly all other gens was deafening. How can this be? How can governments steal our income, our pastime, our porn shorts? Will influencers march on Washington, DC, and burn down the FCC, the Supreme Court, and any other buildings they view as fair game?

TikTokers, as they are known, are spectacularly ignorant of geopolitics, national security, and, well, most other important things. They refuse to recognize that China is our adversary in most everything and will stop at nothing to steal everything in America that is not nailed down.

Some TikTokers are more affected by this than others. Many just enjoy water-skiing cats, monkeys, and tigers. Others earn money with beauty secrets, dating strategies, and more. And those screaming at the top of their lungs—the ones who have figured out how to monetize their time spent on TikTok—are sobbing uncontrollably, not understanding how evil governments have stolen their sole source of income. While I try not to laugh at their stupidity, I am reminded of one of the most important lessons that Dan Kennedy taught me. Here is the lesson: The most dangerous number of all is one. Yes, the number sandwiched between zero and two. So why is the number one so dangerous? Well, if you have one employee you rely on and they leave, you’re screwed. If you have one vendor who supplies everything you need to run your business and they close, you’re screwed. If you have one source of income and that app, platform, or market goes away, you guessed it, you’re screwed. Oh the pain of it all!

So all these influencers, TikTokers and malcontents screaming that governments (China, the United States) have put them out of business have no one but themselves to blame. They never learned that one app, one platform, one of anything places them in a dangerous and fragile financial position. My recommendation: Start reading some of Dan Kennedy’s dozens of books and gain an education so you don’t repeat their stupid mistakes.

P.S. President Trump has evidently placed TikTok on a respirator until further arrangements can be made. Don’t bet that all those affected will have learned a lesson.

 

A Bang and a Whimper Recorded on the Same Day

Donald Trump’s triumphant return to the White House began with a very loud BANG as opposed to the soundless whimper of departing President Biden. In a flurry of activity that will be written about for months if not years, the executive orders signed into law on day one of the Trump Presidency are staggering:

• The official policy of the federal government pertaining to gender ideology guidance is that there are only two genders—male and female.
• A national border emergency was declared, reversing years of the Biden Administration’s failed policies, including catch and release, the CBP-1 App.
• The Remain in Mexico policy was
• The Southern border wall will be
• Cartels are designated as foreign terrorist
• The United States is withdrawing from the Paris Climate

 

Revenge of the Childish Federal Idiots 

By now it’s common knowledge that President Trump has ordered federal workers back to their offices. After all, why have 10 million square feet of federal office space for the 267 workers who actually show up at the office? What you may not know is that there is a cadre of Washington, DC, feds who are actively promoting the boycott of local businesses such as eateries, drugstores, gas stations, and the like in order to not improve the city’s economy.

According to the leftist MSN media website, “Spiteful government workers have vowed to boycott struggling mom and pop businesses near their offices.”

Another idiot was quoted as saying, “On principle, I will bring my lunch (or starve) every day rather than give a dime to DC businesses if this is part of the justification. Boycott DC needs to become a thing for all feds ASAP.”

I have several observations to make about these asshats who are employed by our government:

• The fact that the federal government actually employs people with a spiteful attitude is repulsive and sickening.
• It’s obvious that these deranged individuals don’t understand or care that they are hurting local entrepreneurial businesses and families.
• It is my fervent hope that OMB tracks down these idiots and fires them because I do not want them working for my government.
• How these government malcontents got it in their heads that they have a right to work from home is beyond me.I welcome the voluntary wave of resignations from protesting, indignant federal

As I reviewed this prior to publication, I recalled my old friend and publisher Adam Witty of Advantage Publishing. He shared with me that he was always on guard for any employees who exhibited anti-work-ethic behavior. When I asked him to explain, he told me that outward signs of this are overhearing employees talking about TGIF and hump day—two sure-fire signs that these folks are not really interested in furthering corporate goals. This placed them on the short list for potential termination.

 

Yes, That’s What the Article Said ─ “Stunned into a Stupor”

If you know me at all, you would think that “stunned into a stupor” means I’m talking about some ill-informed progressive liberal. Ordinarily, you would be right, but today you’re barking up the wrong tree. It seems the Arctic cold spell has had a profound effect on some Florida wildlife, namely the iguana. There is the potential for falling iguanas who lose their grip on palm trees and fall to the ground in a spectacular example of gravity. Isaac Newton would be proud! It seems these cold-blooded green iguanas came from Central and South America years back and made a cozy home in the warm, breezy environment of South Florida. So I wouldn’t walk too close to trees for now or you may be at risk of a comatose iguana landing on your head. Should you run across one seemingly dead iguana that is still on the ground, give them a wide berth rather than startling them and causing them to lunge and bite you. You will thank me for all the pain, discomfort, and money not spent at the local hospital.

And just so this story is not lost merely on animals, stunned into a stupor pretty well describes the blank looks on many hardcore Democrats’ faces as they realized during the first week of Trump 2.0 that there is a new sheriff in town and life as they know it has ended.

 

Famous Last Words Uttered by the Failed Vice Presidential Candidate

During the presidential campaign fundraiser at California Governor Gavin Newsom’s home, liberal pinhead Minnesota Governor Tim Walz said, “All of us know the Electoral College needs to go.”

Later, a spokesperson for the Harris-Walz team backtracked the Governor’s comment with this: “Walz believes that every vote matters in the Electoral College, and he is honored to be traveling the country and battleground states working to earn support for the Harris-Walz ticket. He was commenting to a crowd of strong supporters about how the campaign is built to win 270 electoral votes. And he was thanking them for their support that is helping fund those efforts.”

Well, Governor, here are a couple of inconvenient points that may have slipped your mind. First, the Electoral College was established by the U.S. Constitution. Gee, why is that important? I’ll tell you. We would need a Constitutional amendment to do away with the Electoral College.

Second, I am in awe at how Governor Walz, the Vice Presidential wanna-be, thinks he is smarter than the appointed committee of the Founding Fathers who wrestled for months to come up with a grand compromise—the Electoral College. After all, Walz attended Minnesota State University, so he must be an intellectual giant on par with Hamilton, Madison, Adams, Sherman, and all the other Founding Fathers who, in the Governor’s mind, are not as smart as he is.

 

See ya soon…

 

 

You will find many of my interviews on my website at https://eocritic.com./

 

This private email message, including any attachment(s), CCs, BCCs, or REPLIES, are covered under this NOTICE and is limited to the sole use of the intended recipient and may contain privileged and/or confidential PRIVATE information. Any and all political, private, or public entities, federal, state, or local corporate government(s), municipality(ies), international organization(s), corporation(s), live individual(s), person(s), agent(s), investigator(s), or informant(s), et al., and/or third party(ies) working in collusion by collecting, observing, monitoring, and/or analyzing my email(s), using any means of spying and/or data collection is PROHIBITED. Without my exclusive WRITTEN permission, all communications herein are PRIVATE. In de jure freedom.

Any omission(s) not specifically enumerated herein cannot be construed as permission by default. This notice prohibits any and all unauthorized review, use, disclosure, or distribution, verbally or otherwise, with explicit reservation of all my rights, without prejudice and without recourse to me. Any omission does not constitute a waiver of any and/or ALL intellectual property rights or reserved rights!

 

DISCLAIMER: This is solely for entertainment purposes. Published and distributed by EOCritic LLC. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced by mechanical, photographic, or electronic process, or in the form of recording, nor may it be stored in a retrieval system, transmitted, or otherwise copied for public use or private use—other than “fair use” as brief quotations embodied in articles and reviews—without the prior written permission of the publisher and/or the author.

This is provided with the understanding that the author and publisher are not engaged in rendering legal, accounting, investment, or other professional advice or services. If these services are required, the services of a competent professional should be sought.

No liability is assumed with respect to the use of the information contained herein. Although every precaution has been taken, the author and publisher assume no liability for errors or omissions. Neither is any liability assumed for damages resulting from the use of the information contained herein.

Copyright © 2025 EOCritic LLC

Born in 1956, I have racked up numerous jobs over the last 68 years. Not all were memorable, but some were dreadful, some cool, others temporary, some permanent, and some sucked. One came with a bed (more about that later). They included accessing blood vaults, babysitting, loading dry cleaning machines, cleaning mimeograph machines, counterboy, three-wheel bicycle deliveries, compliance auditing, operations manager, busboy, mailroom boy, laundry delivery driver, cotton cubicle folding assistant, and retirement strategist/wealth manager.

Stranger than the foregoing list is the number of titles I have actually held—internal auditor, staff auditor, assistant vice president, vice-president, first vice-president, second vice-president, senior vice president, senior investment management consultant, managing director, and yeah, delivery boy.

Having a job that actually comes with a bed might sound like a perk, but working fifteen-hour shifts at a big city blood bank with urgent calls for blood coming in at midnight, 3:00 a.m., or 5:00 a.m. doesn’t allow for a good night’s sleep, no matter how soft the mattress.

But that job wasn’t as bad as being a busboy in a college town diner with all my friends deliberately making messes, knowing I had to clean it up while they paid their bills and shuffled out the door. It wasn’t good for the ego, yet I was grateful it only lasted long enough to pay rent and the phone bill.

The lowest salary by far was babysitting for Dr. Buxbaum across the hall from our lower eastside apartment in Manhattan. She paid me 50 cents an hour. I’d walk away with a $1.50 spending money, feeling on top of the world until I understood how little $1.50 actually bought.

If you ever worked for your parents, you know it comes with “special issues.” I can’t remember the number of times I wished I could trade places with my dad and let him fold 265 draperies while I sat in his air conditioned office yakking on the phone. Worse was how he made me feel when I screwed something up (hey, I was 13 years old, give me a break), which was often. He would explain something, I would dutifully nod, and then totally forget what he said and proceed to screw up the chore. Couldn’t help feeling like a butthead, like I couldn’t do anything right.

 

Not good for my self-esteem.

My time as an internal auditor for the New York based E.F. Hutton lasted about two and half years before I took a promotion and became operations manager in their sprawling Washington, DC, office. I started with Hutton in 1980, and my job was to interview stockbrokers at their offices all across the country. As a compliance auditor, my function was to make sure stockbrokers abided by the rules and regulations of the New York Stock Exchange, the Commodity Futures Trading Commission, and the SEC. Yes, it proved mind-numbingly boring, despite the travel to such magical destinations as Rock Island, Illinois; Carmel, Indiana; Tonawanda, New York; and Parsippany, New Jersey.

I now look forward to turning the page and not working for a living. I have put in enough years to enjoy the autonomy I have earned. The struggle will be to keep myself intellectually occupied. A dear friend wrote a series of books on Sudoku. Perhaps I will need to read them so my brain doesn’t turn to goo.

 

Geopolitical Intrigue and Mind-Numbing Idiocy 

It seems that President Biden saw fit to pardon a Chinese spy who was caught with massive amounts of child pornography. It further seems the fellow was related to a high-ranking member of the Communist Party. YES, I feel Biden is the most unfit President in the last 200 years, and this is mind-numbing idiocy.

 

The Final Word (to borrow a phrase from my friend Vance)

Surely a sign of American imperialism—a law in place since the 1990s PROHIBITS the wearing of jeans in North Korea. You will find NO denim in the country since possession will land you in jail. Just in case you were wondering, North Korea also prohibits TikTok and birth control devices of any kind, including condoms.

I’m told that hundreds of Starbucks employees are on strike. It seems the baristas have much to gripe about, but what interests me most is one barista wanting “work from home flexibility.” Perhaps this person keeps creamer and vanilla in their home fridge? Perhaps what’s lost on these folks is that Starbucks, like McDonald’s, is a career steppingstone and not meant to be permanent employment. It reminds me of my busboy and delivery days.

The antics of the Biden Administration never seem to stop, and yes, they continue to piss me off. Recent articles detail how that Administration has spent millions of dollars of taxpayer money creating transgender animals and then performing experiments on them. See the Washington Examiner story dated December 21, 2024, by Robert Schmad for the gruesome details.

I have no interest in reading an article that begins with the words P. Diddy, Taylor Swift, or Whoopi Goldberg.

Fair warning: If you happen to run across an article describing how late night TV hosts failed to stop the Trump presidential win, don’t read it. You have much better things to do, like cleaning your gutters or oven.

Have you heard of Woke Cinema? Evidently, there is a class of cinematic productions that focus on the woke life and the progressive liberal political climate. I’m sure Hollywood insider Rob Reiner is all over this. You can probably expect new versions of Marvel and DC superhero movies featuring a bisexual Super Boy, a lesbian Wonder Woman, and a transexual Martian Manhunter.

I would not be surprised to see a new and improved version of Friends where they all identify as whatever they want, complain that everything is lame, work from home, still qualify for state SNAP programs (food stamps), and argue amongst themselves about student loan cancellations because owing all that debt creates anxiety. And because Hollywood is known to be racist, all new Disney films will feature Latino and African American leading ladies as well as a new and improved American history featuring trans Founding Fathers.

Take note:

• It is illegal to drive blindfolded in Alabama—just sayin’.
• In Arizona, it’s illegal for a donkey to sleep in a bathtub—you have been
• In Kentucky, a woman cannot marry the same man four
• In Massachusetts, it’s illegal to tell fortunes without
• In New Jersey, bullet-proof vests are banned while committing a

 

Turnabout Is Fair Play

Equal Opportunity Times subscribers might recall that about a year ago, I penned a quiz called “How to shut down your crazed liberal relatives at holiday dinners.” The quiz received more- than-expected comments, both positive and, well, not so positive. I was blunt and pulled no punches. For those who know me, that’s par for the course. For the crazed liberal relatives who are clueless that socialism is the path to communism, I hold no mercy. By the way, that’s not my line. It was first uttered by Vladimir Lenin. If he happens to be your role model, not only will I not invite you to holiday dinner but I won’t let you step foot in my home.

I spied a recent media article that discussed how liberal leftists should not allow Trump-voting relatives into their homes for holiday dinners. It seems that turnabout is fair play. The article went on to explain how righteous Democrats should not share bread or make toasts with those who are against reproductive healthcare (read abortion and genital mutilation surgery for minors), secure borders, or deportation of illegals.

Other media pundits have suggested that Trump-voting relatives are a deal-breaker and that holiday get-togethers should be cancelled all together. WOW! No gifts, no holiday cards, no roast turkey, no eggnog, and absolutely no songs sung together around the family piano. Talk about sore losers! Bing Crosby and Perry Como would roll over in their graves. Others suggested that if Uncle Paul and Aunt Minny are the offending Trump-voting Republicans, you should simply fail to invite them. This appears to be the 21st century version of the Hatfields and the McCoys.

 

Just So There’s No Confusion

Just so there’s no confusion—that’s how the letter began that I received from Louisiana Senator John Kennedy. Yes, it was an appeal for a campaign contribution, but what a letter! Long-time readers of the Equal Opportunity Times are aware that I consider Senator Kennedy an intellectual giant and one of the finest Senators ever to grace that chamber. The left hates—no, despises— Senator Kennedy with a passion. That should tell you all you need to know.

I have watched many videos of Kennedy questioning Biden’s judicial appointees about the U.S. Constitution, only for the candidate to squirm in their seat and reply that they aren’t familiar with that clause of the Constitution. Kennedy’s grilling of liberal judicial nominees starts with basics like this: Can you tell me about Article II of the Constitution or the meaning of the Commerce Clause?

Through intense questioning, Kennedy uncovers the unadulterated stupidity of inexperienced and unqualified liberals nominated to important government offices. As many of you are aware, I am not a citizen of Louisiana, yet I will be contributing a healthy sum to Senator Kennedy’s campaign because his voice of reason is needed in the U.S. Senate.

 

Yes, There Are Congressional Republicans Past Their Prime Too

If you don’t live in Texas, you may not be familiar with GOP Congresswoman Kay Granger (R- TX). Apparently, this representative hasn’t voted on a bill in six months and lives in a nursing home. Granger is 81 years old and has served in Congress for 26 years. Unfortunately, she is a poster child for term limits.

Brandon Granger, the Congresswoman’s son, is reported to have told a local Texas newspaper that his mom is “having some dementia-related issues.”

Yet her 25- person-strong staff keeps her Capitol Hill office running in her absence, proclaiming, “Move along; nothing to see here, folks.” This is reminiscent of the deceptions hoisted upon the American people by President Biden’s handlers that insist the President is at the top of his game. The best solution is term limits and severe monetary penalties for staffers who deceive the American people about their bosses. Better yet, toss their asses in jail.

 

NY Governor Champions Efforts to Fight Crime While Horrific Crimes Take Place

Yes, it’s my personal opinion that New York Governor Kathy Hochul (D-NY) is one of the worst governors in the history of the Empire State. Media reports that while she was touting New York subway safety, there where two stabbings, and one woman was set on fire and later died.

All this happened on New York subways while Hochul was hyping improved safety underground. While a gruesome murder was taking place, the governor posted on social media that crime was going down. Unfortunately, this liberal excuse for a high-ranking Democrat is clueless and would serve humanity better by inspecting concrete footings at upstate New York prisons.

 

New York Governor Lunacy ─ Part 1 (of course, I will follow up with part 2) 

Yet again, New York Governor Kathy Hochul’s name is splashed across media headlines proclaiming that she signed a bill forcing “big oil” to pay for climate change damage.

On the other side of the country, California Governor Gavin Newsom is blaming his state’s budget deficit on climate change and by extension blaming it on “big oil.”

Let’s try to unpack some of this, shall we? First, it screams that these governors’ actions reflect their attempts at hoisting new fees on the industry responsible for them not sitting in the dark and shivering in the winter. That said, I sincerely doubt that the governors’ mansions are 100 percent powered by windmills and solar collectors.

My beef is how the Legislation links oil industry actions to an alleged injury. Can New York’s new law, beyond any doubt, tie Chevron’s actions to a tornado, a hurricane, or a cold spell? Did Exxon, through its actions or inactions, cause a heat wave or tropical storm that wiped out a California pier in a town that now has the right to extort funds to pay for a pier replacement? Did Valero Energy and its refining capacity conclusively cause a deluge of rain that wiped away a community center? How exactly can these laws link a supposed crime or outcome to a weather pattern that began in the Gulf of Mexico or for that matter in the Pacific or Atlantic Oceans?

Show me the math.

January saw a polar vortex form over much of the US reaching as far down as Florida. My guess is that thousands of acres of orange crops might freeze and be thrown in the trash. In a Democrat politician’s mind, obviously it’s the fault of occidental Petroleum and Exxon and they have to pay for all damages! These lunatic laws force energy companies to pay for supposed damages that cannot be proved. I will go out on a limb here and put it out into the universe that laws such as these will only become fact in blue states. Care to argue that?

 

Is This New, or Have I Been in the Dark All This Time? 

I recently came across a reference I have never heard of before—Weather Porn. I’m somewhat familiar (at a distance) with the regular type, but weather? A lot of folks across the nation seem to be glued to the Weather Channel, watching hour upon hour of hurricanes and tornados rip through towns, causing untold disaster and misery in their wake.

Far be it from me to declare a tornado unsexy, but I kind of understand people gluing their eyes to the destruction—kind of like passing a wreck on the highway and struggling not to look. But the wise guy in me wonders that if some folks are weather porn junkies, then what other type of porn are they binging on? Just a thought…

 

It’s Not About Skin Color ─ It’s About Character 

I’m happy that we as a nation are closing the chapter on the Biden-Harris Administration and its war on character. Individuals are chosen for high positions, notwithstanding deeply flawed characters, ethics, and lack of experience. The Administration was populated by checking the correct progressive leftist boxes, along with the inclusion of bureaucrats based on sexual orientation, leftist politics, and skin color rather than character and credentials. Character matters. I’m not saying that the new administration won’t have its flaws as well, but I think that starting from a foundation of do they have the skills, credentials, and experience to do the job is a good beginning. It’s high time that we match the job with the skillset and character of the individual, not on characteristics that don’t matter.

 

Will the Squad Ever Get It Right? 

Evidently, when a murderer is caught, convicted by a jury of their peers, and sentenced to death, that death penalty is now considered racist. It appears that Squad members are applauding President Biden’s clemency of 37 murderers. They—the murderers, not the Squad members (unfortunately)—will now receive life in prison at a cost of millions and millions of dollars.

About 98 percent of federal death row inmates are Caucasian and African American males convicted of murder. How the political morons that make up the Squad deems the death penalty racist is beyond me. Should you have the answer, please contact me at 1-800-Don’t-Give-A-Shit.

 

 Elections Have Consequences

The American people have spoken. They voted against four more years of the disastrous Biden- Harris policies. Recall how Kamala Harris stated in a nationally televised TV interview that she would not change anything that Biden had done. If that is not a vote of confidence for a diminished mental capacity chief executive, I don’t know what is.

Various media sources tell me that Democrats, especially progressive nut-job liberals, are readying an anti-Trump, in-your-face campaign. Recall how Congresswoman/asshat Maxine Waters (D-CA) encouraged her followers to hound Trump Administration employees in church, restaurants, and on street corners to let them know they were not welcome among civilized (liberal) Americans. So I expect a number of articles to detail shouting matches at Starbucks, Denny’s, Chipotle, Taco Bell, and the local diner—all focusing on the evil, godless employees of the Trump Administration.

And in case you missed it, some Washington, DC, food workers have vowed to make Trump officials not welcome at their establishments. I hope the owners and general managers of the restaurants fire their asses on the spot for disrespecting customers.

Notwithstanding the socialist wannabees’ outrage that law and order is coming back to town, I fully expect foot-stomping, mass protests, bellowing, and a loud racket to persist for months if not years. It’s amazing that there are tens of millions of Americans who persist in believing that unchecked immigration, 7 percent mortgage rates, ongoing inflation, out-of-control crime, insane identity politics, and wasteful government spending policies are good things to be defended at the ballot box.

 

You will find many of my interviews on my website at EOCritic.com.

 

This private email message, including any attachment(s), CCs, BCCs, or REPLIES, are covered under this NOTICE and is limited to the sole use of the intended recipient and may contain privileged and/or confidential PRIVATE information. Any and all political, private, or public entities, federal, state, or local corporate government(s), municipality(ies), international organization(s), corporation(s), live individual(s), person(s), agent(s), investigator(s), or informant(s), et al., and/or third party(ies) working in collusion by collecting, observing, monitoring, and/or analyzing my email(s), using any means of spying and/or data collection is PROHIBITED. Without my exclusive WRITTEN permission, all communications herein are PRIVATE. In de jure freedom.

Any omission(s) not specifically enumerated herein cannot be construed as permission by default. This notice prohibits any and all unauthorized review, use, disclosure, or distribution, verbally or otherwise, with explicit reservation of all my rights, without prejudice and without recourse to me. Any omission does not constitute a waiver of any and/or ALL intellectual property rights or reserved rights!

 

 

DISCLAIMER: This is solely for entertainment purposes. Published and distributed by EOCritic LLC. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced by mechanical, photographic, or electronic process, or in the form of recording, nor may it be stored in a retrieval system, transmitted, or otherwise copied for public use or private use—other than “fair use” as brief quotations embodied in articles and reviews—without the prior written permission of the publisher and/or the author.

This is provided with the understanding that the author and publisher are not engaged in rendering legal, accounting, investment, or other professional advice or services. If these services are required, the services of a competent professional should be sought.

 

No liability is assumed with respect to the use of the information contained herein. Although every precaution has been taken, the author and publisher assume no liability for errors or omissions. Neither is any liability assumed for damages resulting from the use of the information contained herein.

 

Copyright © 2025 EOCritic LLC